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An Angel who
everything when he was

[Castiel from Supernatural. Independent/Multiverse RP Blog. From any timeline.]

[Tag tracked: thursdayssoldier]




I actually find it very interesting at the end of Meta fiction that he tears the angel related research materials off the wall (his hunter style approach to his Angel related problems)  and  then he takes off the trenchcoat (his angelic identity) and puts up the sigil in his suit  - which is a very deliberate adoption not of a hunters technique but of hunter’s ATTIRE, perhaps with his human objectives as his new priority.

So technically he didn’t reject either world entirely.  Instead he blended them…taking from each world as he needed to in reevaluating and planning out his new objective.  Because what he now knows require a massive change in strategy.

Cas isn’t choosing to be just an Angel or a just hunter, he’s making himself into BOTH.  He’s establishing his own distinct identity in a time of great need.

Also important to note: while he began blending his various aspects/selves he started by casting off his angelic signature in favor of the garb of humanity, perhaps indicating what he is most comfortable as or what he most wants to be.  (Or perhaps who he really is when no one else can see.  I’d be saying Nephalim here, but we know he’s not one in the technical sense of the word.)

 The scene cuts away with him still in the suit and we don’t see him in the trenchcoat again until the next morning, when he’s going out to greet his siblings, with whom he’ll need that aspect of his identity.

There is a wealth to be said about EVERY MOVE HE MAKES in that scene.

YES YES about Cas blending his identities!

Also about the trench - I thought taking it off was an indication of him shedding his angelic identity at first as well. But as yarnyfan pointed out here, the suit underneath, while also being hunter attire (aside: oh OH attire traditionally used by hunters for establishing FALSE IDENTITIES btw - perhaps an indication that Cas’ apparent donning of the ‘angelic leader’ identity is FALSE, like when hunters don FBI identities?) is also typical angel attire/uniform. So being in the suit can actually be symbolic of angelic identity.

Whereas this current version of the trenchcoat can, in fact, itself be taken as a BLEND of angelic and human identities - it is a trench like he typically wore as an angel and discarded as a human, thus representing his angelic Self, but it has plaid under the collar to represent Winchesters/hunters/humanity, and it’s a slightly different style to Jimmy’s old one, different buttons etc. I think, suggesting even the angelic identity it represents has been individualised, Cas is being an angel on his terms, crafting his own way of being one.

So keeping the coat potentially reinforces the BLEND of identities Cas is balancing within himself.

Basically there are lots and LOTS of ways to interpret the potential symbolism here :D

(Source: crossroadscastiel, via mishagetsmekilled)

Filed under: #yaaay symbolism #meta #spn meta #supernatural #ooc #castiel #spoilers #spn spoilers
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 17:35:07 | Notes: 1476
In the Sun || therighteoushunter [2014-04-18]



        Cas’s hand slips from Dean’s arm, but he grits his teeth, stepping forward. It’s slotting together in his head, all these loose thoughts, puzzle pieces finally matching up. He knows his eyes are boring into Cas, willing the former angel to look back at him, but he can’t find it in him to care that he’s staring. He just wants him to look at him.

        The tulip is forgotten, as is the entire garden, as Dean asks one simple question. “What did you do?” The following silence is punctuated with bird songs and the faint rustle of leaves, trembling in a breeze that raises goosebumps on Dean’s skin though he doesn’t feel it.

        His eyes narrow. “Or Sam. One of you did something. You’re not telling me the story.” It just didn’t seem right — that he’d be knocked out cold for several days, only to wake up without a scratch. He remembers things that don’t fit in their version of events.

        “What aren’t you telling me?”

"You died." 

Castiel bites it out, voice as stunted as he couldn’t make it to be. He shakes his head. Arms fold. He still can’t look at Dean.

What was he meant to do? Lie? Dean knew something was up. He knows it would have been foolish to even consider that he could hide it all from Dean, and that wasn’t in his intention. He just had no clue how to handle it. He hadn’t let himself think that far; this is when he’d have to face what he’d actually gone and done.

Fingers reach and grasp at Dean’s sleeve, twisting the fabric. The former angel finally throws his gaze at the Winchester, strained.

"You died. For me. Tehhiel - he went to impale me and you pushed me out of the way and he stabbed you instead and - and you died. I couldn’t. I couldn’t.”

He breaths. Lets go of the fabric. Gaze drops. “I couldn’t let you die, Dean.”

It was the first time that Castiel had truly understood grief in such a horrific form. Even for years there was a part of him that didn’t quite grasp why someone would go as far as a demon deal to save another.

Not until he’d held Dean’s corpse. Not until he’d had the guilt of that soul stained on his own. Not until the utter elevation at seeing Dean alive again.

He manages one look at Dean, before his head slumps. 

"Too late. A ‘no get out’ clause was -" He murmurs - "part of the deal."

(via xdamnation)

Filed under: #xdamnation #heavenlyammunition
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 23:16:04 | Notes: 21



"I don’t want to get my hopes up for that. We’ve got too much to beat before we would even get there. We can’t get him, we’ve tried, Cas. he’s like a God."

The truth is, Dean would do anything he could to help Cas get his Grace, his home back. But, he didn’t feel he deserved their help. Not with whatever darkness was coursing through his very being.

Part of him wondered if this is what it felt like for Sam with demon blood.

"What I can do, is get Abaddon, and then Crowley."

"He isn’t God. We ripped up God’s original plan. Remember?"


"Dean, I will most likely dietrying to stop Metatron. I am satisfied with that. For - For all my past - sins - it would at the least be some form of redemption. I’m not sure how I would live beyond Heaven being restored."

"… But, lately, there has been a part of me that has dared to think - no, hope - that perhaps if I survive then there will be something - maybe better - for me than what I could imagine. I would like that. I like to think that - that is it possible."

Filed under: #letsraisealittleperdition #idk where this came from #man i feel really rusty with cas
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 23:31:00 | Notes: 26



Dean knows he’s right, so the only thing he can provide is a curt nod, while trying to hide his worry. Not wanting to ask the questions that he already knows the answer to. Much like when there was no hope for him last time.

"Then I guess I better get this right, make it all worth it. Go down fighting. S’what I’m good at."

Castiel doesn’t want to hear this sort of talk already. He has no doubt Dean will be swinging until his last breath, but this…

this is different. 

He can see it in Dean already, but the angel can’t bring himself to explain that.

"There. There might be some hope. If - If Metatron is defeated. Heaven may be able to do something."

Damn it. Why did he have to be so reckless in the first place?

Filed under: #letsraisealittleperdition #woops feels
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 23:05:01 | Notes: 26



"Been there done that, right?" The way his voice falters on the last word though, that’s how he knows he’s actually terrified of exactly that, and why he won’t look at Cas. He figures lashing out will push people away, the last thing he wants is people looking at him like a damned soul, or offering pity for something he can’t fix because he jumped into it without thinking.

[He sighs, and tone softens. Cas knows Dean too well by now.]

"Going to Hell would be - I believe the term is ‘getting off lightly.’."

Filed under: #letsraisealittleperdition #cas is just worried #so yeah #esp since cas can't just pop down to hell anymore
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 22:50:18 | Notes: 26


"Oh excuse me, I should say behind my back. No one ever said you were good at secrets, Cas.”


"Yeah, nevermind we’re not talking about him. And we’re not talking about me. There’s nothing to discuss. M’doing what I’m supposed to do."

[a harsh laugh barks from the angel.]

"And what is that? Sending yourself to Hell?"

Filed under: #letsraisealittleperdition #ouch #cas is hurt it's ok
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 22:42:15 | Notes: 26



"Don’t give me that crap. A team doesn’t have my brother not wanting to talk to me, and my friend talking about me in secret."

"It is hardly a secret if you know about it, Dean."

"Your brother has a genuine reason for his dissonance, and I feel unable to discuss with you about your issues as you refuse to be open and talk to me.

Filed under: #nah please cas has had enough too #letsraisealittleperdition
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 22:26:09 | Notes: 26




"I don’t need to repeat myself. Your hearing is in peak condition."


"Well then how about you mind your own damn business."

"Apologies. I appear to have misunderstood. I was under the impression that we were a team. Your business affects us all.”

Filed under: #letsraisealittleperdition
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 22:13:38 | Notes: 26



"You wanna say that again?"

"I don’t need to repeat myself. Your hearing is in peak condition."

Filed under: #letsraisealittleperdition #hi bb
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 21:57:58 | Notes: 26
Anonymously tell me what you think of my character portrayal. [2014-04-17]

(Source: shxriffwoody, via notyourjudas)

Filed under: #this is a bit useless for me considering i've been a pancake for the last couple of months in terms of rping #but i guess i can keep the reblog as record for future use if no one sends me anything now #ooc
By thursdays-soldier in 「Castiel」 at 21:42:19 | Notes: 1756